I once had a bad habit of setting up all my single friends on dates with each other. (If you were one of them, consider this my public apology). Spinning a web of my social circles was fun—until a close friend approached me and asked me to be more careful with her heart.
Playing matchmaker seemed innocent. But for me, it was a sign of something swelling beneath the surface. I sought to be understood without seeking to understand. I wanted more overlap, more easy access points and a clever way to find a place into others’ lives without the work.
What I packaged as my signature strengths of “woo” and “empathy” twisted into my signature weakness. My desperate need for instantly gratifying, mutually understanding friendships began to raid other people’s lives.
As we get older, community gets harder. Friendships came easy in college, when nearly every thread of our lives were woven together by place and life phase. But as we step into the rest of life, the Venn Diagrams of our lives intersect less and less. As we mature in our understanding of who God is, we can’t help but change. As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 3:18, God’s glory is always fine-tuning us: “We all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.”